2008 Woodie Awards
Who really cares
Sam Craig
Issue date: 10/19/07 Section: Pro Con
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It doesn't matter if the G.I. JOE name is being changed to an acronym for Global Initiative Joint Operating Entity in the 2009 movie. G.I. JOE can hardly be considered an American institution anymore.
The cartoons were made in Japan and Korea and the toys are made in China. The only thing American about G.I. JOE is his overwhelming urge to sell useless crap to children.
G.I. JOE never has been the symbol of patriotism people are now trying to make it out to be.
The franchise started out in 1964 as a way to market the Barbie doll to boys. Standing in at a respectable 12 inches tall, the G.I. JOE action figure stood for all that was American-strength, bravery and shooting the holy hell out of anyone who dare stick his head out of a foxhole to light a cigarette. All that was soon to change.
As American sentiment towards war took an abrupt left turn in the late 60s and early 70s, the G.I. JOE elite fighting squad was re-branded as an "Adventure Team." Instead of protecting America's interests, the dolls devoted their time mostly to fighting some generic form of evil in all its manifestations-be it the family dog or a little sister's Easy Bake Oven.
The 1980s brought about the formation of the evil Cobra Command, led by the less-than-creatively named, Cobra Commander. The G.I. JOE franchise had taken on a noticeably silly tone.
As the cartoon series started, the G.I. JOE of the past had all but been forgotten.
No longer was it an all-American team of select mercenaries, but a hodgepodge of characters who sounded an awful lot like the voice-over actors from the "Transformers."
That didn't matter to the 5-year-old in me. All I cared about was sitting on the floor too close to the TV on a Saturday morning, staring slack-jawed at the sub-machine guns and plasma cannons blasting away hordes of unnamed Cobra henchmen while a bowl of Frosted Flakes got all mushy in the bowl in front of me.
Patriotism and love of the country never entered my mind.
To be honest, not a whole lot entered my mind while watching cartoons, save for the ads demanding I shriek for Pound Puppies, Madballs, and M.U.S.C.L.E. Men the next time my parents took me to a Toys 'R Us.
The G.I. JOE movie, due out in 2009, isn't aimed at the generation who grew up with G.I. JOE as an American soldier, it's aimed at my generation, the one that thinks war is all laser beams and high fives.
The most important thing to remember is this: It's a movie about a toy. Nothing more, nothing less. And if the "Transformers" movie taught us anything, movies about beloved toys are about little more than nostalgia and building a buzz.
Well, that and the fact that director Michael Bay should be banned from ever sitting in another director's chair as long as he lives.
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